First of all, what is insecurity? How would you define it in your own words?
Here’s what one psychologist said:
“Insecurity refers to a profound sense of self-doubt – a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in the world. Insecurity is associated with chronic self-consciousness, along with a chronic lack of confidence in ourselves and anxiety about our relationships. The insecure man or woman lives in constant fear of rejection and a deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate.”
Anything stand out to you from that definition?
Secondly, what would you say is the root cause of insecurity? In her book, “So Long Insecurity,” Beth Moore gives a few reasons: instability in the home, significant loss, personal disposition, personal limitations, rejection, dramatic changes, and culture. These are all very real and very legitimate causes of insecurity, but I want to point out one thing that connects all of them: comparing ourselves to others.
In my opinion, this is the primary cause of insecurity in our lives. We all do it, even subconsciously! At a break-out session at the women’s retreat, I shared with my group a really silly thing that I compare: eyelashes! I have long eyelashes and I almost always compare the length of my eyelashes to other women’s eyelashes! How ridiculous is that?!
Honestly, though, we compare everything: we compare body types, relationships, and even marriages. We compare computers, friends, jeans, levels of school spirit, resumes, hair… We really do compare everything.
And we somehow think that we can define ourselves based on how we compare to someone else. But we aren’t defined that way! Let’s define ourselves by what God says about us instead! Take a look at these two Scriptures to see a couple of things that God says about us:
“How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty!” Psalm 84:1
Think about that for a minute. For those of us in Christ, we know that he dwells in us. WE are his dwelling place. WE are lovely.
“She is clothed with strength and dignity…” Proverbs 31:25
This chapter of Scripture is often used to describe a virtuous wife, but it really just describes a virtuous woman. This verse is for all women, not just women who are married. That means YOU are clothed with strength and dignity. You are NOT clothed with insecurity and self-doubt.
My challenge to each of you would be this: when you are tempted to compare yourself to someone else, which most likely leads to insecurity, remind yourself of these two truths:
I am lovely!
I am clothed with strength and dignity!
– Alexis Johnston